When peace is a missing piece with Lydia Knorr 

Victoria Rader [00:00:02] In the world of many internal and external voices, the voice you’ll listen to is the voice that dictates your life, would you like to discover a clear path to a life of freedom and fulfillment? Then welcome to All Aboard The Voice podcast, where we focus on awareness, alignment and action in order to live a life of abundance. I am your host, Victoria Rader.

Victoria Rader [00:00:29] Come out, come out wherever you are. This is me calling off the hide and seek game with your true, authentic self discovering you. Y O U. Your own uniqueness is what speaker, author and health and wellness educator Lydia Knorr does best. Having found her voice for peace after losing her husband, Mike she helps other women to connect to their inner spirit to be guided to their life’s purpose. Here is Lydia. All right, and here with me is Lydia, Knorr. Lydia. Welcome to All Aboard The Voice.

Lydia Knorr [00:01:09] Thank you. So happy to be here.

Victoria Rader [00:01:12] Now I was chatting with Lydia prior to hitting the magical record button that I love her name. And those of you that happen to know me know that my mom’s name is Lydia and my daughter’s name is Lydia. And I was not going to bring it in, except that that little voice that the whole podcast is about was like, tell her this story, there’s going to be something to it. So I was probably two or three months pregnant with my daughter before we knew that it was a girl and I was praying, meditating on what name to give her. And it was very clear name her after your mom, you know it’s going to be Lydia. And I said, OK, great. It’s a beautiful name. I’m good with that. So we’ve decided if it’s a boy, it’s going to be named Ray after my husband’s dad. If it’s, you know, a girl, it’s going to be Lydia. Named after my mom, by the way, ended up having son Ray later on. So on that day, it’s out of scriptures that took me to act. It was amazing. I actually was pointed to the verse in the Scriptures about Lydia, who was a woman of great faith and a seller purple. So she was an end to premier at the time of Christ, literally. And I haven’t thought of this story as Lydia, honestly, probably in 20 plus years that I’ve had my daughter. But I think it came in because I look at you and I feel your energy, and I think you are a tremendous woman of faith. You just have such peace about you. So tell us about your journey.

Lydia Knorr [00:02:45] Oh, thank you so much. And I have to just do one quick little sidebar here, because I don’t know if you saw my eyes light up when you said if you were having a son, it was going to be Ray. Well, that was my father’s name. Oh, right by the synchronicities in the universe lining things up? Yes. And what a beautiful intro. And I appreciate that because yes, I definitely am a woman of faith and peace. And for me, the journey started, you know, very organically. I think the way it does for a lot of people whereby, you know, I had a very, very average normal upbringing, if you will. Educated had a great career in the health profession as a dietician. Married a beautiful man by the name of Mike, had three daughters, white picket fence life all of it was good. But somewhere along the way, I’d say in my early 40s, I started feeling that inner restlessness. You know, there’s more I meant to be doing with my life. I love everything we’ve created, but something is calling out me, you know, and I’m not feeling happy from the inside. You know, all of the external things in my life are good. But there’s something more I meant to be doing. And within my career Victoria, I was working in media at that point in time, so I was up on a stage speaking with people about health and wellness, healthy living centered around nutrition and good eating and healthy living practices. But I knew there was something more authentic I wanted to be speaking about. I like the platform. I liked being on a stage. I liked educating. I liked inspiring and empowering people. But I knew there was something more authentic I needed to be speaking about, and my husband would say, Well, you know, just two things he would say to me do what makes you happy, right? Whatever, whatever lights you up and be a little more present, don’t worry so much about, you know, what’s to come or don’t dwell on what was and maybe what worked better in the past. Just focus on being happy now. OK, so I took those two little pieces of advice away, and I just sort of sat with it and you know, it was OK. It was OK, but I knew there was more. Now, fast forward to his journey, and he’s in a job that, you know, he’s climbing, climbing, climbing, building a business and he’s traveling a lot. And over time, I can see he’s getting exhausted and tired, and I’m not liking it at all I’m seeing on him. But we had that check in point all the time. We’d say, Are you happy? And he said to me one day he said, I am happy, but this is a big grind and it’s going to be probably the next year and a half to two years of this kind of pace, this type of travel. And I remember dropping him at the airport one day where this worldwind trip he was taking to China. And I felt really heavy in my heart because I thought he doesn’t have the energy for this anymore. And three days later, my phone rang and he died in China. And so now I’m left with this news. That’s devastating on the one hand. But on the other hand, not a complete surprise based on the witnessing I had done of his energy waning and his spirit starting to shift a little bit. And strangely enough, what happened? I mean, I’m not going to gloss over the fact that I did a lot of grieving. It was a long, hard journey, but I thought this immediate connection to him, to his energy and that first evening, I remember this white light coming at me and it was retreating and coming back and forth that it woke me from my sleep and I knew, I knew, knew, knew it was his spirit. And I recognized in that moment that I’m connected to his spirit. I know he’s not coming back. I’m not deluding myself, but I’m very connected to his energy. And I had this enormous gratitude versus sadness. I had this incredible gratitude and love this overarching cup running over of love that I felt toward him and all that we had created that white picket fence life and our three beautiful children and all of the memories we created. And in that moment, I remember thinking, Wait, a second, something bigger here is at work in your life, because just a few short months ago, you were having this conversation with your husband that something was missing, and now you have this overarching gratitude and love. And I knew I was connected to something bigger than me and yet inherently within me. And so it became my mission over the months that followed and the years that followed, and to this day to continue to nurture and foster and develop that connection further, to pay attention to what would come to me in those quiet moments to receive whether it was feelings or thoughts or emotions or words. Anything that would come to me because I knew that was me connecting to my higher self. And so in that process, what happened was I realized that when I got really quiet and I was very, very present as my husband had said, just be present, I found my inner peace. And that was the missing piece for me. That was that thing that I was yearning for, and it led me to understand that you’re already on the right path in terms of the work you’re doing with respect to getting out and speaking to people and engaging with people. But now your message is about something different. It’s not just about physical well-being and nourishment from food, it’s about nourishing your inner well-being. And so that’s how my program discovering you, your own uniqueness came to be because I started working on the things that would nourish my inner well-being to create that place of peace and balance and alignment for myself. And I knew that it was really important that I went out and share that with other midlife wives. You know, the other people who were struggling and searching for something more in their lives so that they could live a life that felt purposeful and thriving and in alignment with who they are.

Victoria Rader [00:08:10] Well, that’s beautiful, what a beautiful story. I of having your husband’s spirit being by your side and continued to be by your side, I think especially now at a time of grieving, I think, you know, humanity is grieving for so much loss of life. I think it’s a very timely message and found something pretty cool. I don’t know that the pun was intended, but it sure was heard by me. Is that the missing piece is peace, while spelled differently, I think is so beautiful. Yeah, you know, and I think so often in life it is when we are in pieces or, you know, our mind is in pieces, we miss that peace. That’s kind of always there. So what does that piece mean to you? What is peace for you?

Lydia Knorr [00:08:57] Peace is its joy, but not joy and a sense of elation, it’s just joy and happiness in my heart. It’s a sense of calm and centeredness. It’s ultimately, I think the biggest thing it is for me is a knowingness and an awareness of who I am and how I need to be to feel grounded in myself, recognizing that life will always throw curveballs and challenges at you, and there are ebbs and flows throughout the journey. But knowing what I need to do to get back to that place where I just feel very centered and grounded within myself, that’s what peace for me.

Victoria Rader [00:09:31] And when you find yourself missing that connection, how do you return to it? How do you ground yourself back into that inner peace?

Lydia Knorr [00:09:39] I have daily practices that I engage with and probably the biggest one, and it’s where I found my inner peace in the first place is in nature. Spending time in nature and adapting somewhat of a meditative quality. When I’m in nature, you know, just getting quiet with my surroundings and really not thinking too much or acting necessarily within those surroundings, just being in nature, taking in the sounds, the smells, the sights, the feelings and just being not doing.

Victoria Rader [00:10:06] That’s beautiful. So you’ve mentioned the book, and I had an opportunity to enjoy your story. For those of you that are listening, the book is called Ignite Your Inner Spirit and there is a beautiful story by Lydia, and I picked this quote which touched my heart. There, it said “In gratitude there exists a knowingness that peace can be found even amidst the chaos”. So how do you find a room or how do you structure practices around that gratitude as you find it to be a bridge back to peace?

Lydia Knorr [00:10:42] Hmm. I have to be really honest with you, Victoria. I chose that quote because gratitude was something that came to me very, very quickly in those early moments after my husband passed away. I remember having this overarching sense of gratitude, and that was that wake up call. That was my spiritual awakening. To say something bigger is at work in your life because I could go to a place of gratitude in a time of darkness, I could find the light. And I’ve ever since been able to see the silver linings in situations because I know that in the face of every hardship, there’s an opportunity to learn. There’s an opportunity to grow, there’s an opportunity to expand your heart. And so if you can find the silver lining and the good or the light in the dark, however you want to look at it. It’s such an expansive way to live your life, and it just brings you that peace that we spoke about. You know, you may not always have complete understanding and be completely at peace, but it gives you a sense of stability and grounding when you can find gratitude in the face of a difficult time.

Victoria Rader [00:11:40] Oh, I love that. So you’ve developed this whole program, I would say or approach, which is you y-o-u. Your own uniqueness? Tell us about the program.

Lydia Knorr [00:11:52] Yes. OK, so again, going back to finding my inner peace and very quickly recognizing that I just had to expand upon what I was already doing, that happy space that I was working in with a new message, you know, finding all of that within myself and understanding what my purpose was, you know, really was me realizing that this is my soul’s calling. This is a message from higher above for me in terms of what I meant to be doing in this lifetime. And so that was discovering what my own uniqueness was, and I realized we all have it. Know to people receive news. Know to people receive nature. Know to people receive anything the same way as your own unique perception or reception and response to life and how it delivers things to you. So I thought that’s such a beautiful thing to really honor and nurture and work on for yourself. And so I thought, you know what? I want to work with women specifically because I go back to the time before all of this happened, when I was feeling that restlessness, we all have it. Sometimes it is through the natural course of life. You know, maybe our children leave the nest and we say, What is my purpose now, you know, now that they’ve grown or sometimes it’s over, you know, a pivotal life moment like I had where you just had this sudden wake up call and you say, OK, what does all this mean? Because there were subsequent events following my husband’s passing that also were again, further wakeup calls, right? But forced me to just continue to go back to that place where, OK, there’s a message in here. What do you want to do with this? So I just thought it was really important to work with women because we don’t give ourselves permission to step into who we really are because we identify with so many other roles. And not that it’s not important to place a value on those. But I think what we don’t allow ourselves to do very often is to live within those roles or work within those roles in a way that feels very authentic to ourselves. And again, we’re all unique. So I don’t parent the same way you parent, and I wasn’t a partner to my husband the way someone else as a partner to their partner, we’re all unique in the way that we approach life. But sometimes we need to really just dig back into who we are to say how can I be the best version, the most joyous version approach everything in my life with an expansive heart you know, if I’m not living authentically, so it’s really important to really be rooted in who you are so that you have that sense of peace and knowingness and groundedness, and you can approach everything else you do in your life from that place of authenticity.

Victoria Rader [00:14:15] Beautiful. And where would you say your place of authenticity is what is that divine calling divine mission the passion that you get to live from the place off? And when you identify, I don’t want to see how early on you felt that calling, you know, how early on did it start to shape for you?

Lydia Knorr [00:14:34] Well, I felt the calling very early on, and you may recall from reading my chapter, you know, as a young girl, I always knew I needed to use my voice or wanted to use my voice. Let’s say I had a desire. I didn’t know what that meant. And I just knew that I could spend countless hours, you know, in my parents basement singing, you know, being a little too shy to let that part of myself shine openly and outwardly to everybody else. But from somewhere deep within, I knew that I want to use my voice. And then, of course, fast forward to my professional career and having an opportunity to engage with people, and that was my sweet spot. I had many, many different jobs as a dietitian over twenty five years. But being on a stage was that sweet spot for me educating, empowering, engaging with people. So and then of course, fast forward to my journey and realizing that I have a really important message I want to share. You know, there’s many different ways I can share my message, and I have used different platforms, but my favorite is, of course, engaging with people. So I always knew that my calling is to teach and to use my voice

Victoria Rader [00:15:38] beautiful, to teach and use your voice. I recall reading, actually, that when you had that opportunity to honor your husband’s life during his funeral and feeling that it was a very impactful setting and a stage in a way and that have always had to be heard and the voice of gratitude for life had to be heard. It really, you know, tugged at my heartstrings that that message. And going from the little girl who maybe did not follow her passion in a way that she wanted to, but developing it later. One thing that I find to be very tied to the whole story is the story that you share openly of having a removal of your thyroid as a result of healing from cancer. And of course, in energy that happens to be the expression center that is the throat chakra or ability to be speaking your truth and to be expressing. And how did that happen? What have you learned? How did you overcome? How did you live through that process?

Lydia Knorr [00:16:44] And I’m with you 100 percent on that. I agree that it was me holding myself back from really being expressive and expressing what I needed to say. That probably manifested all of that. And, you know, when I had the diagnosis of the thyroid cancer and two surgeries within a space of nine months to remove, you know, the initial cancer and a series of lymph nodes and then a second surgery nine months later, I remember there was a risk of my vocal cords being affected and possibly not being able to speak again. And I sat with this news and I thought, OK, what is the message behind this? Because this is also happening very soon after my husband passed away. And I realized that a little contrary to what I just said a few minutes ago, I needed to use my voice on whatever platform I could. So whether that was from a stage or from a page, or whether it’s through podcasts or whether it’s lives or pre-taped recordings, or whether it’s workshops or whether it’s keynotes, whatever the opportunity is, I need to get out there and use my voice and share my message because if it can change one life for the better, even sometimes it life is only around just through the work you’re doing, then you are making impact.

Victoria Rader [00:17:51] Oh, I love that. You know, I love the uniqueness aspect. I think sometimes we confuse oneness with sameness. And I think on our attempt to be one, as a society, there is a little bit of a poisonous attempt to make us sane in order to be one. So I think it’s such a powerful message of uniqueness that you bring in and the speaking your uniqueness because that’s the only way to be. One is by everybody expressing fully their internal truth, I think. So I wanted to kind of ask you if I had this magic wand and took you actually read that in your article and I had a question. I thought, You know, there really is no way that it’s related to the flow of the conversation, but I’m dying to find out. So I’m going to ask her anyway. Okay. So I was reading just it just fascinated me. I when I was reading you, you’ve mentioned that as a dietitian, you’ve ended up working for media, but your journey getting there had some interesting employers. And I found it to be fascinating that you at some point were working in a prison, as it is I wanted I want to know that story. It’s just I was like, Where’s the story? I want to know the story.

Lydia Knorr [00:19:05] Well, the story goes like this. It really hasn’t changed from generation to generation in terms of getting your education and really hustling to find yourself a job. And one of the things I learned early on in my school, in my academic career was obviously, you know, what you learn is important, but who you connect with is equally important. The network is huge, you know, and that’s how you’re getting further yourself and life. And you know, we can’t do anything alone. We have to rely on our networks and people we know to, you know, open doors for us anyway. So it is through a network I was looking for work when I graduated from school as a dietitian and there was very little available. And through a network, somebody knew of a position for somebody. They wanted to integrate a dietitian into the correctional system and it was a position that had never been held before. And so I was the first dietitian to ever work for the Ministry of Correctional Services in Ontario, which is where I live in Canada. And boy, was that intimidating. And I’ll tell you, the learning curve had nothing to do with the clientele. It had everything to do with the employees because they were used to operating from a certain rule book certain set of procedures which were really a total lack of procedures. And my mandate, of course, was to come in and clean everything up and have it run very smoothly, you know, from a ministry level all the way on down. But, you know, in walks, this young 20 something dietitian who’s telling people to change the way they’ve done things for years and years and it was not well received. So I learned a lot about communication from that job, mostly keeping my mouth shut. But, you know, I just learned and learned a lot about different personalities and handling different people. And you know, again, so there’s an example of, you know, I wouldn’t maybe call it a silver lining, but it was a very difficult, challenging job and never mind the physical security of walking through, you know, five or six sets of, you know, lots and doors to get to my office, you know, and being under a watchful microscope every move you made. But I learned a lot about people dynamics and how to handle people, and I was in that job for a number of years. And by the time I left that job, I’d made friends with everybody, you know, did they love the reason I was there? Did they want to change the way things were done? Not necessarily, but by the time I left, they understood why, why it was important and the value that I was bringing to that workplace. So you learn a lot about people and dynamics, and as long as you can find the positive in it, it’s all good.

Victoria Rader [00:21:33] No, I find that to be a fascinating story because I was wondering, I think it’s a phenomenal opportunity, you know, to have done which you have done there. And I do believe that it was a very important stepping stone. But I also think, you know, our subconscious talks to us through stories. And when you say, OK, you had to learn to keep your mouth shut. Right? And in some ways, that need for knowing how to communicate that later on came as such gift also was blocking that expression center. You know, it’s kind of looking to see the connection, and it’s fascinating that that surface there and well, I’m so happy that while you learn to want to keep your mouth shut, you didn’t. An that you now speak truth, that you inspire many people. If you were to go to a time of that moment of learning the news about losing your husband. I usually go a little bit earlier, but I would like with the knowledge that you have now. And what would you tell yourself at that moment?

Lydia Knorr [00:22:40] Exactly what I told myself at that moment. Believe it or not, there are no mistakes. And I know that this was part of our souls karmic agreement to be in this union together for as long as we were. And then this was an opportunity now for me to go, spread my wings and do the work I need to do. And I knew that I knew that early on and I knew that there are no mistakes. And so when people said, you know, how did he die? And, you know, there were circumstances, but they weren’t really clear. And I said, the how is really irrelevant? The why is because it was his time and it was my time now to just go shine on my own.

Victoria Rader [00:23:17] Oh, that’s so encouraging and beautiful. And so and what if we went even further back in time to that little girl who is hiding, trying to sing without an audience? What would you tell her now?

Lydia Knorr [00:23:29] Oh, I would just say, listen to your heart, listen to your heart and never be afraid of expressing yourself. You know, the work I do now is so interesting. It’s really rooted in aligning with your core values, your personal core values. And the reason I feel that this is the best approach in helping people step in to their authenticity is because our values shift over time. You know, based on where our lives are at. And so when we’re little. The reason I’m saying this is getting back to your question, when we’re little, our values are largely based around what our families and our communities teach us, and they’re rooted in acceptance and safety and love and nurturing because that’s how we feel a sense of all of those things by aligning with the values that we’re told to align with. And so sometimes, you know, we allow ourselves to play small and we do it all through life because we don’t think it’s going to be accepted me maybe by those people who are providing that nurturing and sense of community and safety and connectedness for us. But I would just say, be free. I tell people now in their adult lives, watch little children or watch animals at play because they don’t feel any way. They just do whatever feels good. So I would tell that little girl just do what feels good. Honor it. You know, somebody is going to see the light in you. I think when you honor what feels good, what’s in your heart, there’s an energy that you emanate that can be denied by anybody. And so that’s what I would tell her.

Victoria Rader [00:24:51] Beautiful. What about the values? I like you saying that obviously values shift, and I think it’s more of probably discovering what’s true for you and digging deeper into those values. How did you come up with this realization and how have you seen values shift for you as an example for us?

Lydia Knorr [00:25:12] Mm-Hmm. Absolutely. It was actually quite a natural process for myself because what happened is my values are still rooted in what they have been for a very, very long time. As you know, I was a dietician, and so my values were always rooted in health and wellbeing and fitness, and I walk the talk. I was that person, but through the course of my journey and what I learned about nurturing my inner well-being as well, my values are still rooted in Health Victoria, but they’re now that definition is expanded to incorporate inner well-being as well. So emotional, spiritual, physical well-being. That’s my health value connection. As I said to you, I loved engaging with people, empowering, inspiring teaching. So connection was always a value for me. I knew that that was something that lift me up. But through my journey, I learned that connection to something that I can’t see, right? Something that’s bigger than me. You know, spiritual energy became a part of that value as well. So for me, they maintained, you know, there’s still the same values, but I’ve broadened the expansion, you know, the definition of what those values are.

Victoria Rader [00:26:14] Now absolutely love that. And I think that continues, right? As long as we are walking this path, hopefully for all of us that deepening of the values, I think, you know, one of the practices that I do, we will learn how to absorb the energies of certain feelings. So and people will say, well how come we go back to I know what it feels like to be loved, and it’s because love is endless. So you will always be learning more of how to be loved. And you know, you will always be growing and expanding on that.

Lydia Knorr [00:26:45] And I love that I can add to what you just said because I have a beautiful analogy and I just love it when we talk about, you know, our capacity for love will always grow. I remember after my husband passed away really knowing in my heart that I will love again. I didn’t know when. I didn’t know what that would look like, but I knew, and I think I knew that because I’d had such a rich experience in that part of my life that my heart would open up again when it was ready. But I remember just wondering what that would look like and when and how, because this was when I was having these thoughts, it was still in the earlier grief stages. And somebody said to me, You know, take the analogy of having children. You know, you have your firstborn and you have so much love for this life that you’ve created. And then all of a sudden your expecting your second. And I know this happened for me, and I’m sure it happens for a lot of parents. You know, you think to yourself, how can I possibly like that another as much as I love this first one? But then they arrive and you do. And then, you know, if you have more children, it’s the same again and again. And what the analogy is is that there’s always more room in your heart for love. You know, you don’t have a limited capacity on your heart. So I think you’re absolutely spot on when you say, you know what? That value of love is just ever growing.

Victoria Rader [00:27:58] Oh, I love it, so. OK. We are growing into the future, we’ve sent some love to your past. We knew that you visited your little performer. You little performer seeking whether voice expression. And if I were to take you now, 20 years, 30 years forward, I want you to be at that moment and look back on this moment here now. What would your future self tell you right now?

Lydia Knorr [00:28:23] Oh, she’d say, You’ve got this. You know exactly who you are. And I’ve had the experience, you know, just through shaking that up a little bit for me and not making me second guess who I am, but having to really grab hold of those practices, those things that really ground to me and said to me, You know, it’s I compare it again to my former life as a dietician. It’s like, well, weight loss, you know, you have to work to maintain it. You don’t just lose the weight and then you’re there. You have to constantly work at maintaining it. So it’s the same.

Victoria Rader [00:28:51] Wonderful. Well, tell us what your offerings practices are. What is it that you do for your clients? Maybe give us an example of how it is a day of work for Lydia looks like.

Lydia Knorr [00:29:03] Absolutely. Well, a day of life could look several different ways, and hopefully sooner than later as the world starts to open up again you know, my number one passion is speaking, and so keynotes are something I love to do. Offer keynotes workshops as well. So if you are working with me, we would do workshops that would be centered around aligning with your personal core values and would be looking at what those look like for you at this point in time. And it’s a very multi-tiered process, but we get you down to, you know, your top three to five core values and then we work together to find ways to integrate them into your life every day so that you can live a life that feels energetic and aligned and thriving and purposeful.

Victoria Rader [00:29:41] Love it, and I’m going to make sure that you guys know as always, the link to Lydia’s site will be posted for you so you can. And then they’ll be a little special for you that I’ll discover after the interview. But what would be your kind of main message to the listeners of all about the voice? If this was one thing you wanted them to remember you by or one thing you wanted to impact into their life, pour into their life, what would that be?

Lydia Knorr [00:30:12] I would say figure out, first of all, and what they need to work with someone or whether you do it in however you do. Figure out who you are. Honor your own uniqueness because you know you are here to step more fully and most fully into the truest version of who you are. The world needs more of you, not less. That’s what I would say.

Victoria Rader [00:30:32] Oh, the world needs more of. Not last. This is so beautiful. Thank you so much, Lydia. And the world does need more of you.

Lydia Knorr [00:30:40] Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s been a pleasure.

Victoria Rader [00:30:44] This was Lydia Noor reminding you that the world needs more of you, not less. To find out more about Lydia’s programs and to order her autographed copy of Ignite Your Inner Spirit. Visit her site. Lydia Noor dot com.

Victoria Rader [00:31:03] This is All About the Voice podcast, and I want to hear your voice. What has been of the greatest value to you today? Share your insight and share this episode with others. All links are in the description. I also want to invite the voice of happiness into your life via our iHappy daily and iHappy Me apps, our daily energy boosters. You can download these apps, including a free version of iHappy Me from the Apple App Store or the Google Play App Store for the voice of daily encouragement girl with us with our free My Tree of Life Facebook Group. If you want to join us in exploring how you can live your life with more freedom. Head over to yu2shine.com I can’t wait to get to know you and be a part of your journey of endless possibilities. Thank you again for listening to all about The Voice and Victoria reader, and I’ll see you on the next episode.