Live Inspired – with John O’Leary

Victoria Rader [00:00:02] In the world of many internal and external voices, the voice you listen to is the voice that dictates your life. Would you like to discover a clear path to a life of freedom and fulfillment? Then welcome to All About the Voice podcast, where we focus on awareness, alignment and action in order to live a life of abundance. I am your host, Victoria Rader.

Victoria Rader [00:00:28] Today I want to share a special guest with you, a voice that impacted and inspired me very deeply John O’Leary has touched millions of hearts worldwide, sharing his life story of a nine year old boy burned 100 percent of his body and with a zero chance of survival. While John’s survival story is indeed a miracle, his dedication to live his life on fire despite all odds and physical limitations and inspire others to do the same truly leaves one in awe. Here’s John a voice for living inspired. All right, and here with me, my personal igniter, somebody who has inspired me to live an inspired life. John O’Leary. John welcome to all about the voice podcast.

John O’Leary [00:01:20] What an awesome introduction Victoria. It is a pleasure to be with you.

Victoria Rader [00:01:24] John, you know, I heard somebody actually prince say that what comes from the heart touches the heart. And as I’m looking in your eyes, I want you to know on behalf of my kids. All those years ago, when we first heard you speak at Mastermind, you have touched our heart in a way that has kept him open. The best way I can say it. And so for that, I’m eternally grateful, and I’m kind of prayerful and hopeful that somebody was listening to today will have the same impact.

John O’Leary [00:01:53] If so, I’ll respond to that only because I think it begs a response. My whole life, and this is why I love talking about my life, is proof of how God works through extraordinarily ordinary people and sometimes tragic events free for some cause far larger than we can even fathom this idea of eternity. And so you’re on the podcast right now with a guy who should have died when he was a child, a guy who was inarticulate and struggled academically and is an introvert and does not like the bright light of speaking or podcasting or writing books and yet survived a fire has thrived in life and has finally embraced a story that wasn’t his ultimately to embrace in the first place. But that’s our job today, is to embrace the inner voice, embrace the story that we know is there to be lived out and then to have the audacity to say yes to it and do it.

Victoria Rader [00:02:43] And what is that story, John, that you had to embrace and embrace so gracefully?

John O’Leary [00:02:49] Yeah, I mean, that’s a layered, beautiful question. Simple question, big, thick, layered answer, the kind of middle part of the story. And I don’t think this is where it maybe you thought that question would take you is yeah, I was born at age nine. We’ll probably talk about that. But when you spend five and a half months in hospital and you lose your fingers of amputation and you have scars from your neck to your toes, and for a couple of years, you can’t walk. Your dream is not, man one day I’m going to meet Victoria and be on her podcast, or one day she’ll meet me and mastermind with her Brian Buffini. The dream that I had and I think most normal kids would have had back then is to one day be normal. So from age nine until age 28, my great desire of life was not to be extraordinary or to discern my purpose in calling, but to just disappear, to be like every other little boy, little girl, little the person out there. And it wasn’t until two things collided in my world almost the same week. One was a pastor was sharing the message of the talents where if you’re given five or three or one talents does not really matter, you are called to double those talents. And I’ve always viewed myself, I thought realistically as a guy, given one talent, just one thing, one skill set. Not that good at really anything. And yet that sermon that day ignited me to use your language ignited me to recognize it does not matter what you have. You must multiply. You’ve got to double your life, whatever that life means. And so that a few days after that, I got a call from a Girl Scout and this little girl called myself when I flipped it open the good old days, Victoria flipped it open and I said hello. And she said, Mr O’Leary. I said, Oh, I think you want my dad. And her response was, I called him. I already spoke to your dad. He gave me your cell phone. Mr O’Leary, would you speak to my school? Victoria I’d never shared my story with anybody, not college friends, not a girlfriend that I was dating. Never spoke it publicly, certainly. But on that day, with that little girl at their side of the phone, I said yes. I shared with her little troop. It led to another group and then another group. And then over the last 18 years, couple of thousand organizations, a couple million people live tens of millions virtually through saying yes to the gift of your life. And so when you ask a simple question, So what is the story, John? It’s both my story, your story and the listener story is to be audacious and humble and faithful enough to say yes. Just keep saying yes and watch what happens.

John O’Leary [00:05:16] You know, so guided in so many ways of saying yes to a gift of life. And, you know, I kind of had in my mind to ask you to start there, and you’ve beautifully guided us to that as to where you actually had to rather literally because, you know, people hear that and they think it’s a beautiful figurative speech, you know, saying yes to a gift of life. But in your life, you actually had to say yes to a gift of life. And I remember sitting and just sobbing as I heard you quote your mom with a simple rather question, John, do you want to die? Take us to that moment.

John O’Leary [00:05:56] Yeah, to get to that moment, you got to go back. Fifty two minutes or so before my mother asked me that strange question, listeners, I was a nine year old curious boy in their garage. Mom and dad were gone. I had witnessed earlier in the week boys playing with fire and gasoline, and I assumed if they could do it clearly, so could I. So on that Saturday morning, with everybody else gone, I went into the garage bent over this can lit a piece of cardboard on fire. Try to pour just a little splash of the liquid on top of the flame like I’d seen others do. It’s important, even in, say, in the story that it’s making me think of my own kids and my wife. It’s important we recognize we become like those we hang out with, and we become like the podcast we listen to and we become like the news that we tune into. And so you chose well today with Victoria. But just be highly intentional and who you hang out with because it’s going to inform your life. That weekend these little boys were form in mine and so led to this massive explosion that the canned ripped into Victoria launched me 20 feet against the far side of the garage caused this profound gasoline explosion changed my life burns ultimately on 100 percent of my body. Eighty seven percent were third degree. I find myself about an hour later in the emergency room and my mother races in and I’m naked and I’m skinless and I’m dying and I know it. And she walks over to me and, you know, for the moms in the room and for the ladies and the leaders in the room, the parents, aunties and uncles, even you guys know this kind of love. But as a child, I did not know the kind of courage she was about to model. She comes right into the room. She picks up my right hand in the hand, still hot. It’s already profoundly deformed. She takes it in hers. Then she pats my bald head and she says these words I’ve never forgotten. The first words she said to me were, Baby, I love you. You know, just so that’s like a mom greeting. And I looked up and I said to her mom, Knock it off with a love. Just knock it off. Am I going to die? You know, I could have died. When I asked the question, I assumed she would respond, You are fine, honey. You’re not that badly burned. It’s like a bike accident. We’re going to get you out of here today. You know, we’ll get you a milkshake on the way home. But that day, and I think this is the wisdom of my mother and hopefully all of us can borrow from it. That day, she wasn’t giving me the pat answer like a bill of goods a lie. She provided truth, which is what we are starved for as servants, as leaders, as citizens. Truth, tell us the truth. My mom looked me back in the eyes. She stepped it up. Look closer, and she said to me, Baby, back to your question, Victoria, do you want to die? Do you want to die? And now it’s my choice. You know, honestly, my decision here and I said to her mom, I don’t want to die. I want to survive. I want to live. And she looks back and says, God damn, baby, take the hand of God. Walk that journey with him and you fight like you never fought before your daddy and I will be with you every step along the way. Your father on heaven will be guiding us, but you’ve got to do your part. John, you got to fight. You got to fight. So, Victoria, you are just some of that story. I had no idea what amputations were or skin grafts or bandage changes or blood transfusions. I didn’t know the journey. I didn’t know the technical aspects required of me and others. But we knew the commitment involved like we knew collectively and individually. I had to do my part. I had to own it. I had a fight.

Victoria Rader [00:09:26] Mm-Hmm. So powerful, John, you know, that first thing her saying, I love you, I remember distinctly the first time I’ve heard the story saying, yes, that was true love. That was a true choice. Do you want to live because she had enough love to know that without you committing, you would not have made it. And it was her point of love to me as a mother at that point and today was I love him enough to let him go if I have to. And yet you loved her enough to stay. To me, was the most empowering example of love, and I have an acronym for Love. I say love is a life originating, vibrant emotion with emotion, big energy in. So love is very simple. If it adds life, it’s love. If it subtracts life, it no longer is, no matter what somebody else calls it. So in your most recent book In Awe which, by the way, guys put me in awe and get both copies, get the one where you can read and underline and get the audio copy because it is John’s voice and you feel you’re sitting in his living room on the couch and he’s telling the story just to you. It’s just fantastic. Fantastic. And so there you talk about five principles of being in awe, and I look at that story with your mom and to me is the voice of that expectancy. If you’re going to live, you fight. I expect you to fight. You know, it’s just setting that expectancy in the highest frequency and highest possible way. And also just a voice for freedom in so many ways and all of them. But there were two voices. There are two voices in your life that I found angering and disturbing for one and in complete excitement and wonder for the other. And those were the two doctors. So when you started recovering, John, and you were taken to two doctors with a very different prognosis for what could be done for those hands that were amputated. Tell us what happened.

John O’Leary [00:11:18] Yeah, you know, some nine. I’m out of the hospital. And by the way, I love what you said about love and freedom, which are tied together, actually and expectancy. It’s all one conversation we’re having here and perspective, which is now the next step in some regards along the journey. So I come home from the hospital. I can’t do much, though. Victoria, my mom and dad had done some research on the surgery that allowed the doctors to cut into the web, into the hands, and in doing so, they could basically grow fingers where their previously been. None. It’s like radical. It’s just filled with so much hope. And so we read about this. We set the appointment they were to who did the surgery. And so we make the first trip. It was about a six and a half hour drive. We eventually meet with the surgeon. And what I remember most about our conversation is that he talked a lot about me, but he not once, never once spoke with me and he poked at me. And we know when we’ve been touched and we know when we’ve been poked and prodded, he was just poking. It was like cattle. He was just poking at me and kind of exploring. And maybe it should come as no surprise. Then at the end of the visit, my dad, who was just my hero, my dad, says the physician. Hey, Doc, what do you think about my son and what do you think about the prospects of the surgery in the doctor for the first time? Looked at me first time, really? And he said, When I see your son, he’s look at me in the eyes. When I see your son, I see a horse that could be put down. So when he saw me, he said, it’s like seeing a horse that was in need of being put down. And when I was nine, at this point in my recovery and in my life, I’m not even sure I understood what that really meant, but I understood very well when my dad stood up without shaking the other person’s hand. And that’s just not like my dad at all. He walked abruptly out of the room with me until he rolled me back. My mother followed suit. We took the elevator down and we drove home again, sat and thinking about it because I don’t talk about the story all that often, but I’m not sad for me. I’m happy I have an awesome life. I remember being in the back seat of the station wagon and my mom and dad cried for the majority of the drywall. And I was like, What’s the problem at that point in my life? Rose colored lens on full tilt. I didn’t have a problem with that doc or the diagnosis or a horse that needs to be put down. I have a big problem with it today, and I have a big problem with all, with that guy did to my mom and dad. But you mentioned in the way you set up the question that there were two doctors. There are at least two, but there were two in my story. The second one we met with a week later, his name was Carlos Pappalardo. Carlos is a phenomenal character and a human being. But what I remember most about this visit is when he walked into the room, he walked in singing in Italian. He didn’t speak myself, and he was looking at a file. So he’s looking at the file pretending like he does not know anyone in the room. And he sets the file down. He reads a little bit more. Still singing an Italian like this joyful, you know, loud singing in Italian. Like, he’s ready to take some spaghetti. And then he claps his hands together loudly and says in English, What luck? Is this as a come to pass that today is the day I get to meet the mayor of boy himself, John O’Leary? What, Mike is this? And with that, he claps his hands together, opens the file father, holds it up in front of them, begins singing in Italian and walks out. Hmm. So that’s the introduction of Carlos. A moment later, he opens up the little door. He looks not at mom or dad, but at John, the patient. I think it’s important the consumer, the person who actually matters here in the conversation. He looks right at me and he says, Oh, why were you here the whole time? I’m nodding, and he says, I am so humiliated. My name is Carlos Pappalardo. You must be the boy. You must be John O’Leary. Are you the miracle boy? Never been called a miracle boy, but I nodded. Now I’m completely bought in. And he says, May I shake your hand? So I say sure. Without this warm Dr. Ben Stiller, there’s just such poetry, but it’s all truth. He bends down, humbly, kneels in front of me and shakes my hands with both of his and says it is an honor to meet you. We spend about an hour talking about the surgery, about my hands, about what happens, about what I dream for, for my life. And at the end of it, my dad asked the same question Doc, what do you think about my son with his hands? And the doctor looks at first and my dad and that is me smiles. And then he looks back on my dad and says Denny. When I see John’s hands, I see something as beautiful as an Italian sunset. And he started talking about growing up with a tradie and sea and being with his mom and dad and taking walks as the sun was setting and how gorgeous this time was. And I don’t remember all the details, but I remember floating out of the room searching not only of the fact we could do this surgery, but certain of success in doing so

Victoria Rader [00:16:22] Powerful John. Powerful voice to me of that wonder, his place, the wonder of the sunset in your heart and the wonder recovery. And, you know, directly or indirectly wonder into the book as that one of those five senses. So it touched me, so deeply, touched me so deeply to read those stories back to back. And I know that another voice that has been very pronounced in both of your books, you know, are On Fire where you share this story in the name of the book, you guys is On Fire. The Seven Voices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. John’s first book. And in that book, where you share your story in a very vulnerable, open way, you share the beginning of Jack Buck story. The Voice, I think, you know, in the very beginning of the interview, you said I just wanted to be that boy who disappears. But I think that feeling of disappearing is our yearning to belong. We don’t know how to belong, necessarily through being who we are. So in the beginning, we just want to fit in through blending in. But it was that calling to belong. And so tell us a little bit about Jack Buck and him being really a voice for you belonging where you are in your life.

John O’Leary [00:17:36] So as you know, we could spend because you read the books and you know my heart, you could spend easily in our easily talking only about Jack Buck and his influence in my life. And then the podcast would end with your listeners all asleep. And then we’d start the second podcast talking about his role in our community and other people’s lives and random people I bumped into in the world who have been influenced by him directly and indirectly. This was a champion for others. He was a successful guy. He was a world famous broadcaster. He’s a Hall of Fame announcer. He’s a wealthy financial guy. But I think the reason why I went 20 ish 21 years after his death, we still talk about Jack Buck in my community is not the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals baseball. It was what he did in that community and how selflessly and brilliantly he did it. And I’m one of the stories told now about Jack Buck, but there are many before me. I grew up a cardinal fan baseball fan. For your listeners who may not follow baseball or may not be here in the United States, and the voice in the summertime was a guy named Jack Buck. He was a wonderful announcer, wonderful guy. I never met him, but I listen to him every night, Victoria. He was my guy. You know, he’s older and he’s richer and he’s famous and all these characteristics, and I’m none of these things. I’m just a kid. But I loved him. And then I got burned on a Saturday, and on Sunday I’m tied into a hospital bed dying. I can’t move my arms or my legs. My eyes are swan shut. And there’s a trick in my throat. So I can’t breathe. I can’t eat, can’t drink, can’t talk, can’t see, can’t move. But I can feel and pray and dream and hear. And you know, you don’t forget when a radio announcer that you grew up listening to walks into your room and says to you very clearly, “Kid” in a deep, thick smoker’s voice “Kid, wake up. You are going to live, you are going to survive. Keep fighting. John O’Leary day at the ball park will make it all worthwhile. Kid, are you listening?” But I try to nod my head. And he says “Good, keep fighting.” And then he walks out. He leaves me change Victoria You know, the power of voice. You know that. He walked into my life one time, walked out and changed my life forever changed the arc of my life thereafter. And I was told later on that he was told by the doctors, the nurses, that the little boy was absolutely going to die. There’s just no reason for hope here. 100 percent burn. It’s a death sentence in the following day. This same guy, even though he’d been told even though he did not know me and wasn’t being paid for this and there was no social media saying, why wasn’t he great? None of that was happening. He just came back into my life one more time to encourage me to say the words “Kid, wake up. You were going to live. Got it. You’re going to survive. And when you listen to the language and the way you frames it “And when you get out, we are going to celebrate. We’ll call it John O’Leary Day at the ballpark.” This goes on for the five months that I’m in hospital, this man taking time out of his busy life to invest in this little burned dying child but encourage him to keep moving forward into life.

Victoria Rader [00:20:47] Oh, you know, John, and moving forward once again, the stories here for me go together so well, because why there is this powerful figurative lessons for you who are listening wherever you are stuck, afraid to live, maybe choose trying to decide whether life is worth it, but also in a very literal sense because as you read John’s books, you will find out that he couldn’t move forward physically. He could not walk. And so I actually want to bring yet another voice as this story invites him. And that is your nurse Roy, one of your senses for, you know, the In Awe book is that of immersion. And while we think of immersion being in the moment and being fully present, I think the best immersion one can commit to is being present to the moment of their life. And so as I see Nurse Roy helping you move forward quite literally he is that voice for me. Share your feeling for him and his voice in your life.

John O’Leary [00:21:48] So this is for episode number 15 of our time together because you’re alone. So, you know, I said in the beginning and people probably thought it was false humility. Like, I bet he’s practiced that line a couple of times, not once. I am not that impressive. I know myself well and I’ve I’ve looked in the mirror enough. I’m self-aware enough to recognize how in so many regards ordinary, my life is an extraordinary this. We are all walking miracles. We should choose to act like it, to know it. But I know who the heroes of my stories are, and I’m not one of them. I’m the recipient of profound love and grace and people showing up. Some of them are in the books. Many are not, though. One who is is nurse Roy, and here is the CNA, CNA is frequently the fellow, the lady, the leader who comes in and helps with the bedpan, takes the vitals in and out, serving 100 patients. Super busy, very exhausting. Physically tough job. And Roy chose it. Roy chose this job to make a difference in patients lives, and he would walk into my room every day. He would unhook me from the bed, so I’m tied down. He would get me on my feet in Victoria. He would walk me back to where the bandage change. You know, I’m right from head to toe with bandages. I can’t move my muscles. I have no muscle to move them even if I could. I burn down to the bone in some areas. And this guy is walking me upright back toward the bandage change, saying the words, Kid, oh no.. tot kid, that’s jack. Say in the words, “Boy boy, you are going to walk again. You are going to walk again. You might as well get used to it. He says, Kid you doing ok?” And I respond. “No”. He says back. “Too bad because today you walk.” And then he adds critically “And I walk with you today, you walk and I’ll walk with you”. It’s a long story that goes on day after day after day after day, week after week, month after month. And it is probably seven months before I take the first step by myself. But that one nurse, a CNA a wonderful leader named Roy had this vision of a little boy that most people thought was going to die. He had a vision not only of life, but of walking triumphantly toward it.

Victoria Rader [00:24:08] Hmm. It’s powerful, very powerful. And that support that you’ve had and grace and love and that you’ve turned around and you watch you extend so graciously to those that are stumble themselves today. So for which I’m grateful, John. Now.I ask these three questions, everybody on the podcast, and yes, I have about 900 other questions I want to ask you, but I know you have to fly away and impact some other hearts, you know, so I will kind of be a good host here and ask the three questions. So the first one is if you could go to this particular moment and you can, if you could go to that little boy who got himself on fire and who he is at the moment of being blaze, what would you tell him that would, John?

John O’Leary [00:24:54] Is that in the moment or right after or right before,

Victoria Rader [00:24:58] Whenever you feel you need yourself the most? Where do you need this advice?

John O’Leary [00:25:03] You know, I think it would probably be even after the explosion and in the hospital bed and on one of those long, lonely, blackened tonight, you can imagine. Gosh, some of your listeners might be people who have or seen impaired. And although my eyesight came back, it was gone for quite a while. And in that moment of profound darkness, not only physically but like internally, I wondered if I would live, and I wondered if even living would be worth it. And I wondered if a little girl would ever take my hand and I would want to whisper into that little boy’s ears. It’s going to be OK, there’s going to be so hard. It’s going to be so difficult. It’s going to be so painful. You’re going to be so sad and so mad and so disappointed sometimes. And little John, it’s going to be OK. In fact, I would even echo “Your mom told you a couple of weeks ago. Take the hand of God, walk the journey with him and fight like you’ve never felt before. John, it’s good advice. Listen to your mom.”

Victoria Rader [00:25:59] John, it’s going to be OK. Beautiful. And now if we look forward and if we’re granted that time, if you could take a journey 20 years from now, what would John from 20 years from now come back to tell you today?

John O’Leary [00:26:14] Probably slow down. Just slow down. You talked about a moment ago being in zone, being in flow, being present, being immersed. You know, you mentioned even in setting up these three questions, you got to fly literally. I’ve got to leave the office in moments and race up to the airport and race through a city and then out to another city in not for an hour drive. And my life is fast paced. And I think God, speaking through a boy coming back 20 years in the future, would say, Hey John, don’t miss this moment. Your wife is so beautiful that marriage is so awesome, but it’s fragile. Don’t miss it. Your mom and dad, they’re there. They’re alive. They’re awesome. Your father’s sick with Parkinson’s disease, brother. He’s not going to be there in 20 years. Don’t miss it. Your kids, they’re 9, 11, 13, 15. They want to sit on your lap right now. They want to hold your hand. They want to dance with you. Don’t miss it. Your health that you might take for granted today. Don’t miss it. So I think part of my life is focused on serving others. That’s why we race as fast as we do. But sometimes in racing, you miss the best of the reasons why you do the work in the first place.

Victoria Rader [00:27:18] It’s very powerful. And if our all about the voice family here had one saying one teaching one quote one last sentiment to know you best b to remember you best by. What would it be?

John O’Leary [00:27:31] Jeez, my mother had a banner like a little poster that hung in her kitchen. It was framed and it matched the wallpaper and everything else before the fire. But the poster said the little friend said, This too shall pass. This, too shall pass. And she bought it really when our family was at its apex. My dad was employed. Business owner like life was good. Financially, marriage was strong for them. None of us. None of the six had been sick ever with anything before the fire and before the second fire and before some challenges of mental health in our family and before a divorce, and before all these other struggles that showed up in the life of her children and her grandchildren. But she wanted to be reminded when life was awesome. This, too, shall pass. And she hung the poster back up after the first fire and the second fire to remind her that the difficulties passed to. That God is still God. There’s reason for hope in the best days. Indeed, remain in front of us, so this too shall pass. And so what I hope people say is they eat macaroni. walking around my casket in 92 years when I’m 140 years old. Man, he was just exhibit a of what it looked like to show for the and reminded the rest of us whether we were struggling or killing it, just rocking and rolling. This, too, shall pass and not to give up on ourselves to give up on our fellow brothers, brothers and sisters or to give up on God.

John O’Leary [00:28:52] Beautiful. John, thank you so much. Thank you for your time, for your heart and for being here with us today.

John O’Leary [00:28:58] Victoria I love podcast all of them. But this was a blast, so thank you for doing the recon and thank you for bringing me on.

John O’Leary [00:29:05] Thank you. You can learn more about John O’Leary’s story in his books On Fire and In Awe. John is also host of Live Inspired Podcast. Who do you know that needs to hear John’s message of hope today? Take a moment and share this episode with them. This is all about The Voice podcast, and I want to hear your voice. What has been of the greatest value to you today? Share your insight and share this episode with others. All links are in the description. I also want to invite the voice of happiness into your life via our happy daily and I Happy Me apps, our daily energy boosters. You can download these apps, including a free version of My Happy Me from the Apple App Store or the Google Play App Store for the voice of daily encouragement girl with us with our free Mind Tree of Life Facebook Group. If you want to join us in exploring how you can live your life with more freedom. Head over to you to shine dot com. That is why you number two. S, h, i and E! Dot com. I can’t wait to get to know you and be a part of your journey of endless possibilities. Thank you again for listening to all about The Voice and Victoria reader, and I’ll see you on the next episode.