Communicating your true purpose with Dr. Rowena Winkler

Victoria Rader [00:00:02] In the world of many internal and external voices, the voice you’ll listen to is the voice that dictates your life, would you like to discover a clear path to a life of freedom and fulfillment? Then welcome to All Aboard The Voice podcast, where we focus on awareness, alignment and action in order to live a life of abundance. I am your host, Victoria Rader.

Victoria Rader [00:00:28] Do you know what it is that you really want? Not what you want to want, not what you should want, but what your soul truly desires to be in divine alignment with your purpose? Dr. Rowena Winkler has taken communication to a whole new level from her degree and years of practice and communication to communicating her true purpose. A Cosmic Catalyst coach and retirement strategist, she now helps other women to discover and follow their passion. Being a voice for their inner muse, here is Dr. Rowena. All right. Dr. Rowena Winkler, welcome to All About The Voice.

Rowena Winkler [00:01:15] Thank you so much for having me, Victoria. I’m very excited to be here.

Victoria Rader [00:01:19] Now I know you guys are probably listening to this is were not at least at this point, planning on doing a video of the podcast. But I got to tell you, Dr. Rowena is radiant and loving, loving, loving what I’m seeing here. I think we’re going to have a fantastic time together.

Rowena Winkler [00:01:38] Thank you so much, Victoria.

Victoria Rader [00:01:41] You know, I have a question. So what are you a doctor of? I think you got a degree in communication. Correct? Is that

Rowena Winkler [00:01:47] is correct? Yes, I have a PhD in communication from the University of Maryland in College Park.

Victoria Rader [00:01:54] And why Doctor of communication and how did it serve you in your life?

Rowena Winkler [00:02:01] Oh, my goodness. So one thing that you may find out about me over the course of this interview, we’ll see where it goes. Speaking of voice, I actually am a theater performer. It’s one of my passions and growing up, I was always singing and dancing and doing all these different things. And when it came to selecting my major and going to college, I initially was interested in going for theater right to be a performer, to end up on Broadway. I had these aspirations, but I realized that first of all, I loved school the academic sense. So I love reading. I love writing. The humanities are totally my jam, and I just felt that I couldn’t do that starving artist life. It just didn’t feel in alignment for me at that time. And so I initially went to school as an education major. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to teach elementary school math. And then I realized, Oh, I don’t want to take these upper level college courses in mathematics, so I switched to English. So then I was going to be an English teacher because as I mentioned, I really loved speaking and writing and reading. But then it didn’t feel right again, so I switched again, much to my mother’s dismay. She was not pleased that I kept switching my major, but I finally switched my major to communication, and I remember one of my English professors telling me, Oh, so you’re a speaker, not a writer. And I felt that so strongly. I love connecting with people speaking to people, and so I moved into communication, and that is where I stayed. So I got my bachelors, my masters and my Ph.D. in less than 10 years. So to say that I love the field is probably an understatement.

Victoria Rader [00:04:00] Fascinating. So what would you say has been the greatest lesson of communication that you’ve learned through your practice that you have taken to your career here now and will go down that road in a minute? But I just want to kind of see where you’re coming from.

Rowena Winkler [00:04:15] Sure. So something that I take very seriously and my husband knows this. My husband, Derek, is it’s all about the messaging that when it comes to who you speak to, who your audience is, who you are trying to connect with and resonate with, you can have the same end goal all the same. But if you are not crafting that message in a way that is going to be received by those particular people, it’s not going to go well. And so I speak of my husband because when we communicate and we have a very awesome communication style, we were best friends for years before we got married. But there are times when I tell him, you know, that you should work on that messaging a bit because I’m not going to receive that and I don’t understand where you’re coming from. So by coming from a place of empathy, by coming from a place of curiosity, I genuinely feel that communication has the power to change minds to bring people together, and that communication is the foundation for all things. And so I feel like for a lot of folks, especially in the university setting, communication can be seen as a B.S. major or as something that shouldn’t be taken seriously. But honestly, if you’re not a strong communicator, you’re not going to be very successful, in my opinion.

Victoria Rader [00:05:42] Wow. I got to quote you. You know, communication is the foundation for all things. I’ll have to sit on that, you know, and ponder. I remember one of my favorite quotes on communication was I used to train for John Maxwell quite a bit, and he had a book. “Everyone communicates. Few connect.” And there was George Bernard Shaw’s quote that said “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has happened”.

[00:06:10] Oh, I love that.

[00:06:12] Or that it has taken place by might be butchering the quote, but I think that it has taken place. And when you’re saying it, it comes to my mind that it’s yeah, and the serendipity is true enough. So I have this group, it’s called Tree of Life. It’s guided. It’s kind of a spiritually guided daily affirmation. And this morning, a friend of mine posted this picture. I’ll describe the picture for the lack of better thing. They are these three banners on the church building and the banners have capitalized first letter and it says worship teaching friends. And so of course, the capital letters are double WTF. Yes. And it says this is why you need at least one millennial on staff at your church, so you don’t have to pull it out because what you’re saying is just so what we think we’re communicating and what is being communicated is not necessarily the same thing, and so I mean, serendipity had at its finest. So you took that gold, you took that gold. I believe that communication is foundation of all things, and you are building our foundation of something very different. Tell us what it is that you do now and how you ended up doing it.

Rowena Winkler [00:07:28] Sure. So I call myself a cosmic catalyst coach and realignment strategist now. WTF? What does that mean? You know, so you mentioned the spiritual. That’s exactly it. I use modalities including astrology, tarot card readings, human design. I also integrate my theater experiences. So I work with other creatives through writing, speaking, dancing, singing right. And I help women tap into that innate intuition, right? That propensity to listen to that voice, that inner muse, as I call it, and to get that voice out to get that muse out so that these women can step into their most authentic, audacious and beautiful, divine energy. Because I found my own experience that it wasn’t until I found the courage, the strength, the resiliency to not do what other people expected of me, but to walk this path that again takes my experiences as a former professor and communication, as a marketing professional, as a spiritual human being, and infuse it in this coaching practice that, as far as my clients say, is truly unique experience and it’s super hyper personalized. So if you’re not into the astrology thing, that’s no problem. I have clients that our Ph.D. students that are looking to leave academia like I did back in 2016. And so I work with these women, whether they’re moms, students, creatives and help them find that that unique voice, that beautiful radiance that you mentioned that comes through as we speak today, I help unleash that with all of my clients.

Victoria Rader [00:09:27] How did you find that for you?

Rowena Winkler [00:09:30] Oh, man. Well, you know what? Talk about serendipitous. I was listening to a podcast this morning and I believe it’s true it was going through these challenging times. It was tapping into a lot of that shadow work that a lot of us want to ignore. But I feel is so important to not and to explore and to unpack because it gives us the insights that we need to move forward and to our sole purpose. And so several things happened. First of all, when I was very young, I experienced some sexual trauma. So as a young woman, as I’m sure you could understand and a lot of listeners can understand, going through an experience like that truly changes everything. And that experience when I was very young moved me to be so motivated to succeed academically. But it also moved me to become this perfectionist, right? And to feel that I had to control everything in order to protect myself. Right. And so I went on this trajectory, as I mentioned, I got all of these degrees. And my first year at my first job as a professor. My father passed away and he had cancer. And it happened very quickly. He was diagnosed in March, and he passed away the following fall. So he wasn’t very sick for a long time, and it was very, very difficult. And as I’m sure listeners can attest, when you lose someone so close to you, especially a parent, that just changed everything, it made me reflect on what my legacy is. What am I doing here? When I was a professor, I was so stressed I had kidney stones. I was crying pretty much every night. It was just very, very difficult. And I knew that this was not the path for me, but I was scared to leave because I invested so much time energy money into my Ph.D., and I said, Well, this was what I’m quote unquote supposed to do, right? But seeing my dad suffer and pass away was the wake up call that I needed to say, No, I don’t have to do what I thought I was going to do. I can choose my own path. And so that is when I left academia, I moved into the marketing industry where I am today. I’m still working as a digital marketer, so I am a copywriter. I help build websites. I work for a digital marketing agency. But then the other huge life milestone event that occurred was the birth of my beautiful baby girl. So she’s my pandemic, baby. I had her in March, literally before the world shut down due to COVID 19. And that was a journey as well. I went through in vitro fertilization to have her, so my husband and I tried to get pregnant for almost two years to no avail. And so thankfully, science and technology is amazing, and we had this beautiful girl and I just wanted a role model for her right and role model for my clients that when you are able to find that alignment. What lights you up, what is your passion? And to go for it? Despite how difficult or scary or I mean, like what the heck is a cosmic catalyst coach and realignment strategist? But I built that for myself based on these experiences. And so that’s what led me here today is I want to show my daughter and other women out there that, yeah, you can build this dream life. You can find your voice. You just need the community, the support and the accountability to do it.

Victoria Rader [00:13:18] Oh, that’s beautiful. You know, I just reflect on what you said with the loss of life of your dad and the beginning of life of your daughter.

Rowena Winkler [00:13:28] Beautiful right?

Victoria Rader [00:13:28] Two miraculous transitions of life. I think nothing frames seeking the life’s purpose as witnessing the beginning and the end. And in your case, you know, the end of the beginning. So it’s very, very beautiful. And I’m sure you felt her presence before she came in his presence after he has left. So at least I feel that they were there guiding you on this as discovery.

Rowena Winkler [00:13:52] Yeah absolutely I tell people when I was pregnant, that was the most grounding experience of my entire life. And even today she gives me a little smile and I see my dad in her, for sure.

Victoria Rader [00:14:05] Oh, that’s beautiful. So take me through the example or other the method that you use to help these. I know you refer to it as the inner muse method. So how does that work? What does it stand for and how do you take a line through this method?

Rowena Winkler [00:14:23] Yeah. So I giggle because it’s taking my framework model development from my nerdy Ph.D. academic days. And now I developed this framework for my coaching clients. So Inner Muse method also known as the IMM, there is four steps and it spells M.U.S.E., so that’s cheeky and fun. So the first step is Model. So when it comes to stepping into that divine power, that sole purpose? First, let’s take stock. Let’s take a look at models other people who are where you’d like to be, because I think it’s good to have role models to have exemplars. As I mentioned, I want to be that for my daughter. So I have my clients take a look around whether that’s on LinkedIn or are there particular authors, speakers, celebrities, spiritual guides, who is where you want to be in terms of that essence that you want to be? So that’s the model. Then we move into the you (u), which is understand, understand is all about that mindset work, right? It’s all about removing those limiting beliefs. It’s about doing that shadow work that I mentioned. It’s going through those dark nights of the soul to see what those lessons are. It’s about not being afraid to fail because I know for me, as I mentioned, I was a perfectionist. And so and I’m still working on it. I’m a recovering perfectionist, Victoria. So being able to get in that mindset to really understand if there are limitations where those are coming from, that can include inner child work as well, because I know I’ve done a lot of that, especially after having my little girl. So it’s getting that mindset, that understanding in place, and then we move into that inspired action, which is the S the structure. So for me, I do a morning routine, a spiritual practice. Every morning where I meditate, I pull an oracle card or a tarot card, depending on the day I engage in scripting. So writing out what I hope to see for the day, I write out my gratitude. And you know, it doesn’t have to be that complex. You know, for a lot of my clients, it’s simply just having an affirmation for the day or having one affirmation for the week. You know, it’s no pressure. It’s engaging in some sort of structure. It can be movement, right? As I mentioned, I work with other theater folks, other singers and dancers. So maybe it’s a single formation, as I like to call it in the morning. Maybe it’s yoga. Maybe it’s just taking a walk in the middle of the day to clear your mind. So it’s having that structure to get you in that integration and getting that mindset into place. And then the last letter that E of the MUSE Inner Muse model is expand and By expand I mean, several things. One, it’s expanding in terms of community surrounding yourself with folks like me and you, Victoria. Right? So finding the folks that are going to lift you up that are going to support you on your journey and not being afraid to cut out people that aren’t in that same vibration as you anymore because it’s growing pains? Sometimes you have to let go of people experiences and things that no longer serve you. That’s part of the expansion, right? It’s like the wintertime when the ice is in the glass or something like that, right? Sometimes that shatters and it’s just a beautiful expression. So it’s expansion in that way. Its expansion in terms of let’s say that you’re starting a business. So is it creating your branding? Is that using that voice that, you know, is now authentically yours because you’re able to get rid of all that other stuff that may have been getting in the way? So that’s the model in a nutshell, and I build this framework to help my clients get through that.

Victoria Rader [00:18:22] Oh, it’s beautiful, I guess. You know, if you’re growing, it doesn’t mean you will grow closer. Sometimes you’ll grow apart on that expansion path and it’s freedom to grow, I think. Who were your models using your own muse method? Who were some of your models that freed you to take those next steps? Yes, yes. And why?

Rowena Winkler [00:18:43] Yeah, I’m a huge fan of Dr. Brené Brown. I love her work as she’s an academic that has gone mainstream. Her work on vulnerability is so powerful. I am also a huge fan of the author, Glennon Doyle. I really enjoy her work. I read Untamed as I was on maternity leave, watching my little baby, trying to figure out what I was doing. And she has a podcast now called We Can Do Hard Things that I am such a loyal subscriber because it’s really been helpful for me in terms of being OK to voice that vulnerability and share the challenges that we have because we can do hard things. So I love them from a media perspective. I love Oprah. I’m just going to say that now, just her story and how she came from this, you know, she also had some trauma in her childhood and she knew who she was. She’s not just a media personality now. She is a philanthropist. She is a writer, she’s an actor. She’s done so much to build this empire, and I just find it to be so amazing and profound. And I also have recently been following Natalia Benson, so she is an astrologer and empowerment coach. She does a lot of money mindset work, which I find to be very, very powerful and interesting, especially as an up and coming entrepreneur, as I’m engaging in my entrepreneurial journey for the past year. So there are just a couple of role models and the reasons why.

Victoria Rader [00:20:20] Now beautiful. I just think it’s wonderful to see somebody who teaches a method there are living right now. Yeah, I know what I’m trying to bring into reality. And so in terms of understanding, what have you come to understand about yourself?

Rowena Winkler [00:20:38] Oh my goodness, Victoria. So I have come to understand that one of my core limiting beliefs is I am not enough that I am not worthy. And as I mentioned when I was telling my story for so long because I felt that I wasn’t enough, I was hustling and grinding and getting all the awards and getting all the degrees and getting all the achievements right. And as an Asian-American woman, I know that’s also a cultural thing, right? So my parents put a lot of pressure on my sister and I to perform particularly academically. And so there was a lot of layers to that. But as a result, I felt that I put up this mask, this facade of perfectionism, and I’m realizing doing this work and as I mentioned, that inner child work and knowing that I am enough no matter what that I am loved that I am worthy. It has been so transformative. It has been so healing to know that I am not perfect. But when I do share those stories, those challenges, those moments of failure or vulnerability, they’ve been so powerful and I feel that there’s more engagement, there’s more resonance then showing that like, I got it all together because that’s not true. I’m not a robot.

Victoria Rader [00:22:09] I know deep, deep, profound inside. And, you know, following your model and vulnerability, vulnerability makes us empowered and you’re demonstrating it so beautifully. You know, I think what came to me is you’re talking about that in the work that I’ve done is that one of the two humanity’s greatest fear is that either I am not enough or I don’t have enough and I don’t have enough only exists there to cover the deeper truth. I’m not enough. And so that understanding of you. In my practice happens to be the overall humanity’s understanding of our greatest little secret, I’m just going to keep it undercover because if they know who I really am, there’s no way they’re going to love me. Yes. And because I fear they’re not going to love me, I’m going to do things perfectly right? And so then their perfectionism becomes as self prescribed cure for the absence of understanding of perfect love. Yeah. And I think that healing of understanding that you have been created by the perfect source of love as the expression of that perfect love. And going back to that very core, it’s just flows so beautifully. And for me to see how these truths come in different packages, but how we each arrive at that truth is very empowering. You know, so yeah.

Rowena Winkler [00:23:37] It was beautiful, Victoria. I receive all of that. I’m just smiling. We’re just smiling at each other right now friends out there listening. It’s what a beautiful expression. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Victoria Rader [00:23:47] It’s beautiful. So how do you want to expand this truth? You found? How are you expanding it currently? I know this podcast is here to help you expand your voice, but what can we do to help you expand this message and this beautiful method?

Rowena Winkler [00:24:03] Thank you so much for the opportunity to share that. Yes, so, you know, expansion and expansion in terms of my business. So if you go to Rowena Winkler dot com, you will see all of my services and offerings. And it’s so many as I’m sure you know, so many ideas and so many things. So keep tabs because there are fun things coming, y’all. I will just tell you right now. Courses and coaching programs and workshops are definitely getting ready. They’re getting cooked up right now. So if you just go to Rowena Winkler dot com, you’ll get to see all of that. If you’re on Instagram, you can follow me at R.B. Winkler, Ph.D., and you’ll definitely be apprized of all of the updates there. But yeah, as you mentioned, just talking to amazing folks like you and just sharing my expansion, sharing my truth and hoping that folks dig in and resonate with it, and that if you’re feeling similarly, if you’re like, Oh my goodness, Rowena, I’m going through the same thing. I have a free 20 minute catalyst cause I like to call it to just see what’s going on, you know, to just talk through what may be keeping you stuck, what you want to work on. And yeah, we can see if we’re in alignment and if the timing’s right, I’d be more than happy to work with you and help you dig and get that Inner M.U.S.E. Goddes out.

Victoria Rader [00:25:39] Yeah, it’s beautiful. So you’ve listen to that muse you follow. Did I want to ask three questions that I normally ask, OK at the end of the podcast and the first one? I want you to go back. If you could go back to that little girl that was first taking advantage of from where you are right now, what would you tell her?

Rowena Winkler [00:26:06] I would tell her that she is so strong that she should not see this moment as a time of weakness, but as a moment of resiliency and perseverance and inner strength, and that you’re going to take that experience to help other people and that all get you very, very far in this world because a lot of other folks need to hear it,

Victoria Rader [00:26:44] and it’s very impactful. And so having gone 20 years, 30 years forward, now you are at that impact that you told her you’ve gone so far in the world. You are now a brand name, you know, Dr. Rawena Winkler, cosmic catalyst coach and realignment strategist. And the crowd claps, there are 5000 people in the audience. You’re on the stage. And what would that Rowena tell you today?

Rowena Winkler [00:27:11] She would say, Keep on going, girl, you are on to something. Tap into that intuition and really exercise that muscle because you know, you know, what you’re doing is what you need to be doing. So keep on going. Despite the challenges, despite the naysayers, you know that that’s your truth and that’s what you need to leave out. And I’m so, so proud of you for getting to this point.

Victoria Rader [00:27:39] Oh, beautiful, and her say and peace, you can do hard things. You. Oh, it’s just really beautiful. And the last question I have is that if our family here at All About the Voice were to remember you by one quote, one message one thing you wanted to convey that’s most important to you. What would that be?

Rowena Winkler [00:28:04] Yes, I love to share this quote. I edited a little bit slightly, it’s from Ben Platt. He won the Tony Award for his role in Dear Evan Hansen to any of my musical theater friends out there. And the quote is this “What makes you different makes you powerful”. We do not need to be like everybody else. We do not need to be doing that comparison and looking to the left and looking to the right. Because what you have to offer, what makes you unique, what makes you beautiful and amazing as you are, is what makes you powerful. So go forth and be different because that’s what we need.

Victoria Rader [00:28:46] What a grand finale. Thank you so much, Dr. Rowena. What makes you different makes you powerful. You’ve come on different and powerful, and I’m so grateful for you.

Rowena Winkler [00:28:57] I am so grateful for you, Victoria. Thank you so much. I had a wonderful time.

Victoria Rader [00:29:01] Great. This was Dr Rowena Winkler, Cosmic Catalyst coach and realignment strategist. Has your muse spoken to you during our time together? If so, this is Dr Rowena site Rowena Winkler dot com to claim your 20 minute catalyst, call absolutely free.

Victoria Rader [00:29:27] This is all about the Voice podcast, and I want to hear your voice. What has been of the greatest value to you today? Share your insight and share this episode with others. All links are in the description. I also want to invite the voice of happiness into your life via our iHappy daily and iHappy Me apps, our daily energy boosters. You can download these apps, including a free version of iHappy Me from the Apple App Store or the Google Play App Store. For the voice of daily encouragement grow with us with our free My Tree of Life Facebook Group. You want to join us in exploring how you can live your life with more freedom? Head over to yu2shine.com I can’t wait to get to know you and be a part of your journey of endless possibilities. Thank you again for listening to all of The Voice and Victoria Rader, and I’ll see you on the next episode.